In the Thick of It.

"The loudest thing in my head."

Oh how I long to
crash again
the scratches of paper
coming
from my pen
let me go
let me go
how I long to
feel again
scratching through the
surface with
the bits of hard
pine
let me go
let me go
how I long to
break again,
throwing and crying and screaming and
complete
and
utter
and
wild
and
unnameable
and
unfathomable
feeling
how I long to be alive.
How I long to die -
to feel every moment like
static electricity
shooting painfully
and oh so beautifully through my fingers
let me go
let me go
out into the woods where
the sky calls my name
and I'm alone and surrounded
and the wind can pick me up
and take me where it wills--
I'll run
I'll run and fly and
I'll run and fly so fast that
neither life nor death can
hold
me
and
I'll rip a hole in the sky with my teeth
and
breathe the atmosphere
and
finally be able to regain my
soul
life
seeing with my eyes closed
and
everything is too close and too
far
let me go
let me go
the gray dawn is never enough
but
I don't have the courage to take my finger from the dam.
Do I?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5krz56suJOg

Arrow Root in My Veins.

"If I had a boat, I would sail to you. Hold you in my arms, ask you to be true."

What do you do when
your tears are so thick,
you can't even cry them?
And your phone is so heavy,
you can't pick it up?
What do you do when
your solid heart becomes
opaque, and shimmers like a mirage
in the hot desert sun?
What do you do when,
no matter how many detox drinks
you drink,
that pit stays in your gut and won't
leave you alone?
What do you do when
the only people you can
ask for help are
Fleetwood Mac,
and all they do is throw
your questions right back to you?
(Oh, mirror in the sky,
what is love?)
What do you do when
you don't know what to do,
or how to do it?
What to say,
or how to say it?
Tell me what to do when
sorry isn't enough,
and the man at the desk is still
empty-handed.

I haven't seen Vanessa in too long.