Stability and Eternity.

"Sometimes rain that's needed, falls."

A wave of liquid joy cascades and
fills me and then I am
overflowed
heat and excitement and
shivering ice and
eyes closed and
belonging and
safe and yes,
love.
I can finally say.
Certainty and
life and
love.

In the Thick of It.

"The loudest thing in my head."

Oh how I long to
crash again
the scratches of paper
coming
from my pen
let me go
let me go
how I long to
feel again
scratching through the
surface with
the bits of hard
pine
let me go
let me go
how I long to
break again,
throwing and crying and screaming and
complete
and
utter
and
wild
and
unnameable
and
unfathomable
feeling
how I long to be alive.
How I long to die -
to feel every moment like
static electricity
shooting painfully
and oh so beautifully through my fingers
let me go
let me go
out into the woods where
the sky calls my name
and I'm alone and surrounded
and the wind can pick me up
and take me where it wills--
I'll run
I'll run and fly and
I'll run and fly so fast that
neither life nor death can
hold
me
and
I'll rip a hole in the sky with my teeth
and
breathe the atmosphere
and
finally be able to regain my
soul
life
seeing with my eyes closed
and
everything is too close and too
far
let me go
let me go
the gray dawn is never enough
but
I don't have the courage to take my finger from the dam.
Do I?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5krz56suJOg

Arrow Root in My Veins.

"If I had a boat, I would sail to you. Hold you in my arms, ask you to be true."

What do you do when
your tears are so thick,
you can't even cry them?
And your phone is so heavy,
you can't pick it up?
What do you do when
your solid heart becomes
opaque, and shimmers like a mirage
in the hot desert sun?
What do you do when,
no matter how many detox drinks
you drink,
that pit stays in your gut and won't
leave you alone?
What do you do when
the only people you can
ask for help are
Fleetwood Mac,
and all they do is throw
your questions right back to you?
(Oh, mirror in the sky,
what is love?)
What do you do when
you don't know what to do,
or how to do it?
What to say,
or how to say it?
Tell me what to do when
sorry isn't enough,
and the man at the desk is still
empty-handed.

I haven't seen Vanessa in too long.

(The Monumental Move.)

"Let's waste time chasing cars around our heads."

Time flashes by like the heat of lightning and
crawls by as slow as a crippled rabbit.
Looking back, I can't see when it happened.
When I gave my heart away.
All I know is that my heart is not where it was originally placed
(in my own chest)
it's where another's resides.
Considering the facts
(it's a beautiful cavity for residence)
I think I'm alright with the arrangement.
The only risk is the chance my heart could be completely utterly
shattered.
In my chest, I could protect it myself.
Some consider that less risky.
Considering the facts, however,
(he has a sword and I do not)
I think I rather trust him to do a good job with its protection.

Patience is something I've never had
but given the current situation
(he has my heart in his own chest)
I don't see how I can do anything but
trust that he has the necessary guidance to give us a path.
The right path.
A path that I
(have) love(d)
love
(will) love
for a very long time.
(By "a very long time" I mean, of course, "forever".)

A Projector Screen.

"And she'll be home."

I've never seen so many stars,
never been so content in another's arms.

When I look in those
eyes,
my walls torn down,
and see a vulnerability
that matches my own,
I can do nothing but breathe peace,
and thank God.

My heart keeps on beating,
though I'm sure it will stop when he's
near.

My lungs keep on breathing,
though I'm sure they will stop when he's
gone.

What gets me, though,
is that he'll never really be gone.
No,
all I have to do is look up and see
us
in the night sky,
manifest as the small twinkling lights
that refuse to
ever
go out.

Looking Upwards.

"I can tell you're cold, so let me hold the moment you've been dreaming of but never told."

Scratchy chin
Loose cotton shirt
Strong arms
Broad chest
Warm hands
intertwined with mine.

Stars overhead lend their light as the
moon beams her approval.
Wisps of a cloud sail across the sky.

Do you think if we each held on real tight
to the other,
the breeze would lift us and
carry us to
forever?

I May As Well Ditch My Dismay (Bombs Away).

"It's like taking a guess when the only answer is yes."

This feeling of caring is more than I've ever known.
It's not in loud proclamations of passion,
or in sweeping demonstrations of knighthood,
but the concern in the words,
in his voice.

This feeling of security is more than I've ever known.
He doesn't have to promise me over and over that he'll stay.
He just will.
It couldn't be any other way.

Sometimes I just picture it in my mind--
us.
And my stomach turns and knots and waves crash and birds caw and everything is spinning and I'm safe.

How can I explain when I don't even understand?
Although I have no words I can't keep silent.
The rooftops and I have become recently well-acquainted..

There are some times, though,
when I can't even whisper it,
much less shout,
because it's all too rich inside me.
I don't want to share these feelings because they're just for me,
and even whispering his name to the darkness is too personal.
So I keep him inside,
and hold on to every moment.
Every laugh.
Every word said,
just for me.
And I'm smiling.